Category Archives: Change

What Eight Words Taught Me

This past weekend I decided to tackle the stack of magazines that I had set aside to read later.  My first not-so-hot-off-the-presses selection was the February 2012 issue of O Magazine.  I thumbed through the magazine until the caption “You…In Six Words” caught my attention and made me pause.  As I read on I discovered that writer Larry Smith issued a challenge in which he asked his readers to describe their lives in six words.

The Six-Word Memoir challenge generated a huge reaction, and Oprah shared the responses of some of her readers.  Perusing the article made me think about what my six word memoir would look like.  I wondered how I would describe my life in six words.  I did not have to wonder long.  Six words popped into my mind almost immediately.  “I live my best life everyday.”

Although those six words pretty much described how I saw my life, something still nagged at me.  There was something more.  Something that I missed.  Apparently I needed a few more words to accurately convey how I live my life.  I needed an eight word memoir to be exact.  “I CHOOSE TO live my best life everyday.”

Those words resonated with me and summed up how I live my life.  You see I live my best life everyday, because everyday I wake up and choose to do so.  Not everyday rolls along as smoothly as I wish, but everyday I live the best life possible under the circumstances.

I wish that I could say that I have always lived this way, but I can’t.  There were many years of my life that I passed time by waiting to get to the place or thing that I thought would make me live a better or happier life.

I’m a different person now.  I’ve grown, and those eight little words helped me to see how much my outlook on my life has changed for the better.  Life is too precious for me to spend my time waiting to live my best life.  That’s why I choose to live my best life everyday.

That’s my story, so to speak.  What’s yours?  Share your story.  What does your six or eight word memoir look like?  Why did you select your particular words?

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Blessings.

See.  Live.  Enjoy.

A Simple Thing

Oh My God!  The temperature climbed to 77 degrees in Dallas today.  That’s not an unusual temperature for north central Texas during the spring and summer months, but it’s still winter according to the calendar.

The day took my breath away when I stepped outside.  A few high clouds floated by overhead as the sun beamed down and chased away the chill that the morning typically brings.  It was the kind of day that makes you want to play hooky from work and find something to do outside, so that you can take advantage of the perfect weather.  I didn’t.  I went into the office, but I will admit that thoughts of me sitting by the pool with sunglasses and a good book repeatedly invaded my mind.

In a world where we are connected 24/7 and receive a never ending stream of information about breakthroughs and major events, a warm sunny day in Dallas in February may not seem like anything worth taking note of.  For some of us it may not have enough wow factor to capture our attention.  I have been there.  In that place where I needed the ‘incredible’ to make me pause.

A few years ago I probably would have been in such hot pursuit of whatever was on my calendar for that day that I would have failed to fully appreciate the splendor of a day like today.  But thank God that most of us wise up at some point.  I learned that if we only focus on the so-called big things in life, we spend much of our life bored, discontented and waiting for the next big thing.

There absolutely is a time and place to celebrate the spectacular, but if we can appreciate the simple things, the extraordinary things seem even more special.  We may even realize that the simple things are sometimes the most extraordinary things.

Do you notice the simple things?  Do you recognize the blessing in a beautiful day or the gift of the presence of people in your life who always seem to be there and love you unconditionally?  If the answer to these questions is no, perhaps it’s time for you to slow down, disconnect for a moment and take a look around you at the things that are simple but priceless.

“It’s the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary.” – Paulo Coelho

Blessings.

See.  Live.  Enjoy.

Attitude Adjustment: Mountains And Molehills

Molehill in East Bohemia (Krtiny)

Molehills via Wikipedia

Morning is my favorite time of the day.  There is something special about the energy of a beginning.  That is what morning is to me, a beginning.  A few days ago I did what I normally do to start my day.  I walked into the kitchen and opened the blinds on the windows that look out onto my patio.  I enjoy watching the world around me wake up.  That morning the azure sky shimmered with a vibrancy that authors write about when they want to convey happiness and joy.

I looked to the sky, slumped my shoulders and groaned.  “Ugh!”

I could not focus on the beauty of the day.  All I could see was the precursor to more extreme heat.  Another day with a temperature above 100 degrees was in the making.   I looked at the sky longing to see anything that could remotely resemble a rain cloud, but it was not to be that morning.  In my mind I grumbled.

“I can’t stand this heat.”

“When will it end.”

I continued to bemoan the weather as I turned my attention to breakfast.  More random thoughts flew through my mind.

“A break from this heat would be wonderful.”

“Maybe I can arrange a long weekend to California?”

“Many people went to bed last night who did not wake up this morning.  They would have loved to have endured the heat to be able to see another day.”

I did not expect that last thought, but it got my attention.  Those words stopped the chatter in my mind and made me pause.  I reflected on the truth of what I had just heard. In an instant my aggravation shifted to appreciation.  I had been given another day.  A day that I could spend complaining about the heat and other annoyances, or a day that I could enjoy and use to make a positive difference.

Of course there are things that we should be irritated by.   Things that we will want or need to argue or fight for, but much of what we encounter as we go through a day is small stuff.  Stuff that really does not matter.  Stuff that is not worth our time and energy.

“Making a mountain out of a molehill” is a saying used when we make more out of something than we should.  Are you making more out of something than you should?  Are you making a mountain out of a molehill?

We all have the ability to decide whether to make a big deal out of the small stuff, or to simply let it pass.  Life is precious.  Let’s not waste it on the small stuff.

“I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.” – Denis Waitley

Blessings.

See.  Live.  Enjoy.

Living Through Change

A friend and I recently met for dinner and chatted about what was going on in our lives.  The topic that dominated our conversation was how much change we both have experienced during the last few years.  Whether we like it or not, change occurs.  Some change we welcome with open arms.  Other change we avoid at all costs until we realize that we have no choice in the matter.  Regardless of whether we view a change as good or bad, living through it can be stressful.  If we are not careful we can lose our sense of stability and well-being.

I shared in an earlier post that a few changes recently took place in my life.  The changes were good, and I readily embraced them.  But even good change is change, and at times I felt off balance.  How did I survive the changes?  To the extent possible, I continued to do the things that I normally do that keep me calm and grounded.  When I stepped back and looked at my daily routine, I realized that there are seven simple but powerful habits that I do that help to keep my sense of peace and well being intact.

Habit #1  Pray
Each day is a gift, and I start it with a prayer.  I thank God for the day, and I ask Him to direct my steps.

Habit #2  Feed My Body
I figured out early in life that I cannot focus when I am hungry.  I feed my body “good for me” food throughout the day.  For me this usually means three meals and two or three snacks.

Habit #3  Be Quiet And Still 
Constant noise and movement can frazzle the most relaxed person.  I step away from the noise of the day and take a deep breath.  Even five minutes away from all of the buzz can stop or slow down the frenzy that we often find ourselves in.

Habit #4  Feed My Spirit And Mind
It is not just our bodies that need to be fed.  I want to maintain a positive attitude and state of mind, so I need to take in nourishment for my spirit and mind.  One of the ways that I do this is by reading something uplifting and inspiring everyday.

Habit #5  Tap Into The Power of Love
There is no greater power or support than love.  It is important to give and receive love.  Whether in-person or by phone or internet, I communicate with loved ones everyday.

Habit #6  Laugh
Laughing is good for the body, spirit and mind.  It decreases stress, and that helps to strengthen the body’s immune system.  I find a reason to laugh everyday whether it is by reading a funny story, watching a sitcom, or hanging out with people who love to have fun.

Habit #7  Pray Again
I end the day the way that I start it.  I pray.  I thank God for carrying me through the day, and I talk to Him about the events of the day.  Ending my day with prayer helps me to release my concerns and prepares me for a good night’s sleep.

This is what I do to help me stay calm.  What are the things that you do on a regular basis to keep your balance?  These are the things that can help you maintain a sense of peace and security during the uncertainty that sometimes accompanies change.

“Change brings opportunity.” – Nido Qubein

Blessings!

See.  Live.  Enjoy.

Try Something New (A Moment On Monday – 1/24/2011)

Happy Monday!

Do you remember the joy and excitement that you felt as a child when you tried something new and accomplished it?  Whether it was learning to walk or to ride a bike, the satisfaction of a first time success exhilarated us.

As children our lives were filled with many firsts.  Those victories built our confidence and inspired us to venture out and try other things.  We wanted to know more about our world, and we explored it with little to no concern about making mistakes.  But as many of us grew into adults, we settled into routines that became our lives.  We became comfortable with what we knew how to do and we stopped trying new things.  There is nothing inherently wrong with living a life filled with the routine, but when we only encounter the familiar we stop growing.  Trying something new can help us discover more about ourselves.

When was the last time that you tried something new?  If you have to think about it for too long,  it’s probably time to add a little spice to your life.  Even something as simple as taking a class on something that you’ve always wanted to learn such as sewing or salsa dancing can help re-energize you.  What are you going to do to step out of your box and try something new?  I wish you wonderful new experiences.

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” – Vincent van Gogh

Blessings!

See.  Live.  Enjoy.

New Year’s Resolutions And Other Plans: Have Direction But Be Open

Tonight we ring in a new year.  There is something special about this time of the year for me.  It’s an occasion to wind down the old and start the new.  There is probably nothing magical about the beginning of a new year, but somehow it just seems like a good time to put things in order to move forward.

Many of us make resolutions or plans for a new year.  Planning can be a good thing.  Planning helped me to achieve many of my goals.  It helped me to become a lawyer, lose weight and get out of debt.  But as I look back over my life, I see that I also accomplished things that I did not plan.

For years I wanted to live abroad, but I did not put much thought or effort into making it happen.  Then one day out of the blue, the opportunity for me to move to Finland appeared.  Moving, especially more than 6000 miles from home, was not in my plans at that moment.  I was torn between staying in Texas and pursuing the plans that I had at the time, or taking a detour and going down a path that I had not considered.  After much deliberation I packed my bags and headed to Finland.

Much of my time in Finland falls into the category of ‘unplanned and unexpected’, but living in Finland was one of the best experiences of my life.  During my stay there I came to understand the value of living rather than planning to live.  It’s easy to get so caught up in planning the future that we forget to live in the present, or to get so frustrated when our plans go awry that we cannot see the opportunities that are around us.

I have a vision for my life, but I stopped making New Year’s resolutions several years ago. I decided to plan less and live more.  I believe that plans have a place in our lives, but they should help us not hinder us.

I’m curious as to what some of your experiences have been with resolutions.  Do you make them?  Do you find resolutions to be helpful?  How successful are you with sticking to your resolutions?

I wish you a blessed and prosperous 2011.  Happy New Year!!!

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”  (Proverbs 19:21 NIV)

Blessings!

See.  Live.  Enjoy.

A Moment On Monday – 12/27/2010

Happy Monday!

I hope that everyone had a very Merry Christmas.  As we approach the end of the year many of us are turning our attention toward the coming year.  We are assessing the results of our efforts in 2010 and looking for ways to make 2011 a better year.  Some of us will continue on our same path.  Others will vow to make a change.  Regardless of whether we choose to stay our current course or re-direct our lives, the first order of business is to know ourselves.  Until we know who we are, nothing else makes sense in our lives.

Blessings!

See.  Live.  Enjoy.

A Matter Of Perspective

About a month ago I started a collection of writings that are no more than a sentence or two long.  I call these writings ‘mini musings’.  Several days ago I shared one of my mini musings with my Facebook and Twitter families.  For some reason that particular mini musing stuck in my head.

I tweeted and posted, “Sometimes all it takes to solve a problem is to change the perspective from which you are looking at it.  A new perspective can work wonders.”  That made me think back to the makeover on four rooms of my house that I undertook several years ago.  The twist on this makeover was that my house was in Texas, but I was in Europe.

I knew what I wanted for each room.  I selected paint and flooring and said a prayer that the den, master bedroom, master bathroom, and exercise room would be transformed into the spaces that I envisioned by the time that I returned from my five day business trip.

Amazingly I did not worry while I was away.  I had confidence that the contractors could and would make everything work.  That feeling changed when my return flight landed at the airport.  My confidence dwindled and I bounced between excitement and fear as I wondered what would greet me at my house.  The nervousness overtook me as I drove into my garage.  I fumbled with my keys and struggled to get the entrance door open.

I tipped inside and surveyed my surroundings.  The first renovation that I encountered was the den.  It was spectacular.  The new hardwood floors added warmth to the room and made it more inviting.

I moved onto the next piece of the project, the exercise room.  The ugly animal print border left by the previous owner was gone and the walls sported a radiant soft gold.

The next stop was the master bedroom.  The sea foam green of the walls and the beauty of the hardwood floors washed away the last bit of anxiety and induced a sense of peace in me.  Only one room was left.  I could not wait to see it.

I crossed the threshold into the master bathroom.  Words escaped me.  I could not believe that this was my bathroom.  The green on the walls jumped out at me, but not in the way that I expected or wanted.  There would be no long bubble baths in this bathroom.  The color was beyond unattractive.

I asked myself if I could live with the color.  I’m a glass half full type of person, but I was challenged to see any possibilities.  I took a step back and examined the room again.  There was no change.  Maybe I was influenced by jet lag.  A 15 hour trip can make a woman more sensitive to things than she normally would be.  It was late, so I decided to go to bed and wait to see how the color struck me the next day.

Eight house of sleep and fresh eyes did not help the situation.  Not only did I not see any improvement, the color seemed more extreme than the day before.  The light green that I hoped would be tranquil had mutated to granny smith apple green.  I told myself that there was still hope.  I had not placed the wall hangings and rugs back in the space.  I was certain that the room would look better with everything back in place.  After all, one of the reasons that I picked that particular color was because it looked like it would work with my existing wall hangings and rugs.

I put the four rugs and three wall hangings that were part of the old decor back in place.  They did not perform the magic that I hoped for.  The accessories clashed with the wall color and ramped the ugliness of the room up a notch.  “Don’t panic.”  That was all that I could say to myself as I tried to hold back the tears.

As I cleared the room of the obsolete items, a lotion bottle on the vanity caught my eye.  I noticed that the ocean blue bottle cap worked well with the green walls.  From that I concluded that adding touches of ocean blue into the room would tone down the wall color.  Off I went with the cap in hand to search for rugs and other decorations in that shade of blue.

I guess I should have paid more attention to the interior design magazines.  Blues were out that year.  Muted purples were in.  I didn’t find anything remotely close to what I was looking for.  I returned home deflated.  It was clear that I would have to work with what I had until I could paint the walls.

My pragmatic side surfaced, and I decided that the only accessory that I needed was a rug to step on when I got out of the shower.  Any rug would do until I was able to redo the walls, so I put my favorite of the old rugs back down.

Then I noticed something that I missed earlier.  By some twist of fate the green on the walls matched the green that swirled through the floral pattern of the rug.   A light went on in my mind.  I needed to approach the situation from a different perspective.  I decided to use the other colors of the rug to try to create a more soothing atmosphere.  I zeroed in on the ruby red and golden taupe that worked well with the green.

A few trips to my favorite home decor store and I found the accessories that I needed to complete my master bathroom.  It turned out that I had the bathroom that I wanted from the beginning.  I simply had to look at it from a different perspective to realize it.  I had to stop trying to make the new wall color work with the old decorations.  When I did that I opened myself up to new possibilities, and the option that I needed presented itself.

Life can be like that.  Sometimes we encounter a situation that at first glance appears unappealing, but when we stop judging it by our old way of thinking and seeing we open ourselves up to wonderful new prospects.

Is there something in your life that you could change from a challenge into a blessing by shifting your perspective?  What do you need to look at differently?  Perspective is powerful.  Let it work for you, not against you.

Blessings!

See.  Live.  Enjoy.

Lighten Up: Learn The Power Of “No”

Flensburger Schiffbau Gesellschaft

Image via Wikipedia

A friend and I recently talked about how many of us try to take on more than we should.  He shared a story with me about something that I had never heard of before–the Plimsoll Line.

“What is that?”  I asked.

He explained that the Plimsoll Line, aka Load Line, is the marking on a ship’s hull that indicates how low or high a ship sits in the water.  It is a guide to help prevent overloading, because a ship that is too heavy rides low in the water and is dangerously unstable.

My friend’s story made me think back to some life changing words that a former colleague said to me.  “I’m not in a position to.”

I remember those words as if they were just spoken to me.  They were not.  The former colleague said them a couple of years ago when she declined to take on a matter that was within her area of expertise but not within her scope of responsibility.  I marveled at the way that the words rolled off of her tongue.  She did not flinch, stumble, or stutter.

I confess.  I was a bit irritated.  Not just by her refusal to take the matter off of my plate, but also by the fact that I should not have taken the problem on in the first place.  The matter was not within my area of expertise or scope of responsibility.

So why was I the one left holding the bag?  The short answer is that I didn’t say “no” when I should have.  I prided myself on getting things done, even if I should have said “no” or directed the matter to another attorney.  I’m not saying that my former colleague was not interested in helping clients or did not take pride in her work.  She did.  She was a good attorney, but she knew her limit.  She knew the maximum load that she could carry, and she was not willing to take on something that was not rightfully hers that would put her Plimsoll Line too low in the water.

Hearing my former colleague’s words made me see that not saying “no” when I should drained me of time and energy that I could direct to things that I enjoy and things that are truly my responsibility.  I realized that I had to learn to say “no” when it was appropriate, and I developed the ability to say it with ease.

Thinking back over my moment of revelation made me wonder why so many of us have difficulty saying “no” even when we should.  I think that there are several reasons why many of us struggle with that little word.

Kindness:  We want to be seen as kind and helpful.

Rudeness:  We do not want to be viewed as rude or difficult to work with.

Relationship:  We do not want burn bridges.

Conflict:  We prefer to avoid conflict.

The reality is that saying “no” does not mean that we’re not kind, or that we are rude.  It also does not mean that there will be an all out war or that a relationship will end.

Sometimes it about how the message is delivered.   My former colleague never said the word “no”, but her message that she would not accept someone else’s problem was loud and clear.  There are ways to convey the “no” message without saying the actual word.

I’m not in a position to take that on.”  It’s better to decline something that you should not take on in the first place rather than to take it and let it sit because you do not have the time or ability to handle it.

I’m not the right person for this matter.”  This is not about trying to shift the burden.  Things simply run smoother when we all handle that which is within our scope of responsibility.

I need to give this some thought before I commit.”  This is a particularly good response for those of us who have a tendency to say “yes” before we consider what else we have going on.  The reality is that most of us are juggling many balls already, and we need to think about whether we have the ability to add another.

We are not born with a visible Plimsoll Line, but we need to be aware of how heavy our load is.  Are there things that you need to say “no” to?  Are you allowing things that you should not do to take time and energy away from things that you need or want to do?

Maybe it’s time to draw your Plimsoll Line and identity the cargo that needs to be unloaded.  Don’t wait until you capsize and start taking on water to admit that your load is too heavy.

Blessings!

See.  Live.  Enjoy.

My Eat Pray Love Moment

I didn’t rush out to see Eat Pray Love this past weekend, but I am reading the book.  A few years ago when the book first caught the world’s attention, I was not interested in reading it.  I was happy and was not looking to escape from or to any place.  I didn’t feel that I would relate to Eat Pray Love then, and frankly other books ranked higher on my for fun reading list.  But after seeing the movie trailer and being subjected to some of the recent media blitz, I decided to see what all of the hype was about.

I haven’t finished the book yet, but I can say that I relate to some (not all) of Elizabeth Gilbert’s experiences and feelings.  That was especially true last night when I read Tale 42.  This is one of the sections in which Elizabeth shares her battle with her mind during meditation.  Elizabeth attempts to mediate for an hour, but after minute fourteen her will power, concentration, and nerves break down.  She becomes exasperated and quits.  I relate to being challenged by meditation.

Last week I decided to resume my meditation practice after more than five years away from it.  I can’t give you a good reason for why I stopped meditating.  I simply let life get in the way.  Running here and there.  Adding one more thing to the daily to do list.  My life blasted into warp drive and those things that didn’t seem essential fell aside.

Meditation does not magically transform me or my life, but it does help me to be mindful of the present.  If you’re like me, you can get so wrapped up in your daily routine that you sail through a day (and life) on autopilot.  Meditation reminds me to focus on the moment at hand.

Last Friday afternoon with mindfulness as my goal, I picked up my timer and headed to a comfortable chair.  The meditation technique that I learned does not require me to assume the lotus position on the floor as Elizabeth did in Eat Pray Love.  Regardless of how and where I positioned my body, I still had the same goal as Elizabeth–to quiet my mind.  I set my timer, closed my eyes and started repeating my mantra in my head.  Within a minute or two, my to do list saw its opportunity and took center stage.  My grocery list raced through my mind, and I remembered that I needed to add milk to the list.  Try as I might, I never succeeded at completely quieting my mind that first day.  I didn’t make my time goal of twenty minutes either.  I wimped out a few minutes sooner than Elizabeth did in the book.  She made it to fourteen minutes.  I was only able to keep my eyes closed for twelve.  But I didn’t despair, and I didn’t give up.  I continue to meditate, and it gets better each time that I do.  That does not mean that meditating is easy for me at this point, but I am able to quiet my mind for longer periods of time.

So what has this done for my non-meditating hours?  I’m getting better at staying in the present moment.  My mind does not skip ahead to tomorrow as much as it did.  With that said, please know that meditation is not an instant fix.  It does not immediately quiet your mind, slow you down, or make you more mindful.  It takes commitment and practice to achieve that.  But with a little dedication you may discover that you spend more time living in the now and develop a greater appreciation for some of the things that seemed insignificant before.

Is something telling you that you need to slow down?  There is value in taking time to smell the roses or watch the sun set.  Maybe it’s time to quiet your mind and your life.  We live life in moments that only come around once.  Lets savor and enjoy these moments.

Blessings and Happy Meditations.